I remember when you were still by my side, when you wrapped your arms around me and told me everything will be okay. Well where are you now? Obviously you don't care about me anymore, do you? Because you've stopped calling and I don't hear much from you anymore. Maybe this is because you said you needed space, couldn't help me the way you used to. You insist we're still friends but really, where the f*** are you then? I'm on the run, you don't even know where the f*** I am but you don't ask after me anyway. I remember when I had left, you hugged me goodbye and told me to be safe. I promised that i'll be back but maybe I shouldn't keep my promise after all. You're the only person I keep my promises too but maybe it just isn't worth it. You say you're not that kind of person, that kind of person to leave someone but it sure feels like you've walked out of my life. Part of me wishes, really hopes that if I do come back I'll run back to you and things will be okay. But look what hope brings, hope is just for those who are in denial, for those who need a reason to carry on. Reality is what matters, and maybe if I returned you wouldn't see me anymore. Well whatever it is, I'm sure you're better off without me. Even if we're just 'friends'.
If there's one thing I need you to know, it'll be that you're not that different from me. You say you hate lying but the moment you stopped caring made you into a liar. Because you promised that you'll never leave me. This is why I rely on my alcohol and my drugs because they'd be there 24/7. Friends on the other hand, are fickle as f***. They can tell you they'll be there for you but walk out on you the next day.
So if I do come back home, if you do see me again, don't blame me for becoming indifferent towards you. I let you in, I told you everything. Clearly that was a mistake, clearly I shouldn't have trusted anyone but myself. And you can judge me for going back to my alcohol and my drugs, but at least I'm trying to cope even if I'm an addict.
You weren't there enough.