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About ThatEchoGirl:

I like to rant, I guess? Feel free to talk to me.

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Every single time I 'accidentally' showed my cuts or bruises, I was hoping Every single time I showed up to ...

Every single time I 'accidentally' showed my cuts or bruises, I was hoping
Every single time I showed up to class with red eyes and a blotchy face, I was hoping
Every single time I was quiet, I was hoping.

Hoping someone would say I needed help
Someone would take me to a doctor
Would take an article of clothing off and show me their battle scars
Say "You're not alone."

Nothing happened
I spiraled deeper into the problem
A cyclone of hate and suffering
Friends diapered, with thoughts of unspeakable things
Why should I bother living if I have nothing left to live for?

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ThatEchoGirl ranted 5 years, 11 months ago. Viewed 44 times.

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+1

Okay so I decided to transfer schools, and I was excited, I still am but I wanted one last day ...

Okay so I decided to transfer schools, and I was excited, I still am but I wanted one last day to say goodbye to all my friends but now I can't, and I'm like bawling my eyes out because I realized I'm gonna miss them and I feel like crap, and really sad. Like it's not even a reasonable amount, but I can't help it. I'm gonna miss everyone so much and there's pretty much nothing I can do about it, because we don't really live near each other and we're not the type of people to go hangout just because. I just really miss them already, and we've only been in school for like 3 days, so I haven't seen them that much, this is so emotional I don't even know why. I kind of regret the decision, but I can't take it back now. Ah this is terrible.

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ThatEchoGirl ranted 5 years, 11 months ago. Viewed 39 times.

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I don't even know.

I have no clue what the difference between rants and rambles are but here we go. I hope I'm aloud to go on about what I'm about to. I'm a self harmer. I mostly cut, sometimes I bruise myself. It's not good I know. I hate it. It makes me hate myself as well. Friends say I can talk to them, but they don't even feel like friends sometimes. I hate feeling alone. I don't know who to talk to. I feel so emotionally abused, by so many people. I And right now I feel like an attention seeker for posting this on a public place. I'm so sorry. But I'll feel better if someone somewhere sorta knows what I'm doing, or where I'm coming from, or maybe they're not the only ones. Sometimes, I feel so suicidal. I can't handle things. So I slash some damned body part, put a hoody and sweat pants on and go to a friends house. It's hard to keep resisting. Once when I tried to tell a friend I wanted to kill myself she called me selfish and left me crying in a park alone. That was one of the worst days of my life. And I'm not sure if I really forgive her, even though it was a few years ago and I should just forget about it. And sometimes I wish I had that perfect guy, to hold me and help me. But that's putting a lot of pressure on the guy. And that's really not fair so until I sort myself out I don't think I'll get a boyfriend or anything.

A while ago I stumbled upon a site like a suicide hotline, but on the internet, sorta like internet chatting. I'm too scared to do even that so that's how I ended up here. And I'm mostly here to try and escape. My friends are in fights and I sort of lied to one of them because he talked about my friend behind her back, so I told her but I told him I didn't and I don't even know what to do, and there's blood everywhere, I'm not sure this rant is helping but I feel so helpless and alone.

Another thing, why try so hard to keep people alive. They want to die. Something has driven them to hate life so much they don't want it anymore. Ah well maybe that's not fair. I'm not even sure. But I wish someone would help me die. Who knows though, maybe this is heaven, and the afterlife is hell. I'm so sorry that barely any of this made sense. ugh.

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ThatEchoGirl ranted 6 years ago. Viewed 32 times.

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