I'm interested in anyones thoughts on exes in current relationships. I'm in a situation I don't like very much and I'm not sure exactly what to do. I've been seeing this lady since about the start of the year.
When I first kissed her, she went along with it, but then said to me "I can't do this yet". Turns out, she's hung up on her ex, that she broke up with about a year ago. They have been friends for over 20 years, and they had about a 2 and a half year relationship. It sounds like he never returned her feelings, as well as other things. She ended up breaking it off with him. After that indication she wasn't ready, I backed off. Within a week, she had emailed me asking me out to dinner. One thing led to another…and here we are together.
All good, right? Not really. I love this woman quite a lot, and I'm not afraid to say so. She has never said it back, citing that her feelings are confused and she doesn't want to say anything that isn't true, and that because of her mixed up feelings about her ex, she isn't sure where we stand (part of me really thinks that in itself is cause for us to break up, but other parts of our relationship are awesome). We have broken up because of this before, I walked away saying "you figure it out" (and as an aside, I got beaten up by 6 people that night and left with scars etc), and it really broke my heart to do it, but within a few weeks, she was indicating she wanted to be with me.
Recently, we've been getting closer, and that's great, I'm happy with that. She's even done some nice things for me. Only thing is, I've noticed that she's been catching up with her ex more just recently. She assures me that its just a friendship, but I can't help but not like it. This is normal, right?
As an example, I emailed her at work yesterday saying "you wanna hang out tonight?" and she said "Maybe, I'm catching up with jonny but we're just havin a cuppa so it shouldn't take long, I'll call you later". At about 8.30 she was texting me saying "still wana comova?". I was a bit "over it" by then and said "i'll take a raincheck". She seems upset by that.
Is it wrong of me to think that I don't want to play 2nd fiddle to her ex, and that if she leaves me waiting half the night to hear from her while she is with him, that I'll say no?