So I used to have these hamsters. They were small and cute, but they were also very vicious. They would bite anything and everything including me.
Those furry little monsters could sink their sharp little teeth into my fingers and would NOT let go regardless of how frantically I would wave my hand in the air shaking their tiny little bodies two feet above my head.
I did what any sensible human being would do. I gave them away to a sweet little girl who loved hamsters. Now, I hear she didn't keep them for long, but that's another story.
On to the point.
Today, I fancied a nice enjoyable time of skating outside of my residence.
"How lucky I am," I thought as I searched through my belongings, "I've kept those old roller blades for years."
To my utter shock, I found my roller blades with the insides gutted like fish (by hamsters no doubt). Great. Those little bastards are no longer in my life, and they still manage to ruin my day.
A little more investigation revealed that they also chewed through various items, including clothes, that I had in my closet. They were also thoughtful enough to leave me generous poop and pee deposits in hard to find and hard to reach places. Yeah, thanks guys.
Lesson of the story here folks.
1. Do not buy hamsters.
2. If you break lesson #1, do not let them loose in your household without the safety of a hamster ball.
3. If you break lessons #1 and #2, may God have mercy on your soul.