Well, it seems that I've screwed up again; and rather than a calm discussion – yet again my spouse has decided to rub it in and lord it over me. Why the f*** did I ever bother getting married? This isn't how you're supposed to treat one another.
"For better or worse" is strictly lip-service. I am constantly being verbally lashed at – and its getting so close to my calling it quits; if it weren't for the kids (who aren't mine) I would have been gone ages ago.
You just don't treat people like this: discussion, examination, growth – that equals respect that people in a marriage should exhibit towards one another.
Unsure of what to do; but seriously glad that I can just blow off some steam here.
———updated—————Unfortunately, my spouse came with some emotional baggage (childhood) that I was well aware of when we first started hanging out together. We started out with an incredible friendship; knowing that we could count on each others help through pretty much anything (and there were a couple of incidents that pushed the limits).
Now, its just gotten to the point that I can't respond to anything. If I make a mistake- and I know it was my error – I attempt to apologize, but am told that apologies don't work/as my 'mistake' is an example of my disrespect for our family.
No: it was a mistake. Humans make them.
The 'salt in the wound' approach to interaction is getting very old/very fast. It's hurtful, its stressful, and quite honestly – I have a chronic health condition that is affected by it.
I just want to be single again. But I'd probably lose all contact with the kids that I've helped raise, and that would kill me.
Life sucks sometimes; thank God for the anonymity of the internet. This rant is allowing me to vent, and maybe gain a clearer perspective on what to do about my situation.