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Another mistake

Well, it seems that I've screwed up again; and rather than a calm discussion – yet again my spouse has decided to rub it in and lord it over me. Why the f*** did I ever bother getting married? This isn't how you're supposed to treat one another.

"For better or worse" is strictly lip-service. I am constantly being verbally lashed at – and its getting so close to my calling it quits; if it weren't for the kids (who aren't mine) I would have been gone ages ago.

You just don't treat people like this: discussion, examination, growth – that equals respect that people in a marriage should exhibit towards one another.

Unsure of what to do; but seriously glad that I can just blow off some steam here.

———updated—————Unfortunately, my spouse came with some emotional baggage (childhood) that I was well aware of when we first started hanging out together. We started out with an incredible friendship; knowing that we could count on each others help through pretty much anything (and there were a couple of incidents that pushed the limits).

Now, its just gotten to the point that I can't respond to anything. If I make a mistake- and I know it was my error – I attempt to apologize, but am told that apologies don't work/as my 'mistake' is an example of my disrespect for our family.

No: it was a mistake. Humans make them.

The 'salt in the wound' approach to interaction is getting very old/very fast. It's hurtful, its stressful, and quite honestly – I have a chronic health condition that is affected by it.

I just want to be single again. But I'd probably lose all contact with the kids that I've helped raise, and that would kill me.

Life sucks sometimes; thank God for the anonymity of the internet. This rant is allowing me to vent, and maybe gain a clearer perspective on what to do about my situation.

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anonymous ranted 8 years, 4 months ago.
Rant viewed 174 times.

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+1
anonymous commented on this rant 6 years, 5 months ago.

Forgive me.. Marriage is forever. It always takes two to tango, my husband and I split
Abt a year ago and after 3 months of a lot of talking figured it out. That's all u need to do is figure it out
Ask ur spouse if she/he doesnt love u anymore. Ask her why she is yelling, she doesn't have to yell to get her point a cross.
If you are Christians or if not. Look up the (40 love dares) and try it give it that 40 dAys. Even if it' seems unworth
It, try it it has saved a lot of marriages. Life is too short to traumatize urself with a divorce, Ur kids or ur wife.
It brings mistrust into ur heart, those kids(which are urs if u raised them) and the spouses heart. She may have some issues she needs
Resolved, the biggest problem in this world is not truly forgiving others, if ur ok a week and
Then u bring uP something from last week it creates more problems, it's not a solution to even argue back, tell her to talk to u when she is calm,
If she starts yelling tell her it hurts u and walk away, don't take abuse, and don't dish it out.... Period.. My most humble words of advice😃

+1
Calai commented on this rant 8 years, 4 months ago.

I don't know why spouses think it's okay to yell at each other, but they act all nice around/to other people. Your spouse should deserve your utmost respect and love. Yelling and hurting isn't love, nor is it like treating them your partner, but rather, someone they can yell at... someone inferior. *sigh*

It seems like you're not in your marriage because you love your spouse, but you're only in it because of the kids. :( That's a recipe for unhappiness... sorry. But hey, you married your spouse because he/she had a quality and character that you fell in love with, right? I'm sure it's still there somewhere -- hidden beneath all that yelling. Maybe you two should find a way to dig it out and rekindle your affection for one another. :)

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anonymous commented on this rant 8 years, 3 months ago.

What kinds of mistakes?

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Gigi commented on this rant 8 years, 3 months ago.

It's pretty sad, not everyone marries because of love. I've had people tell me that they married their spouse because they were lonely. As a result, they think it's okay to cheat on their spouses. People should only get married with each other when they've found that one person they can't live without and will love for better or for worse. That rarely happens from what I've seen.

I don't know your whole situation all that well so I will not attempt to give any advice. There are too many possibilities to the reasons behind the way people behave. Wish you the best of luck though.