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Overcoming The Past

I haven't done this yet on this website, but I've been lurking for a little while.

I'll just warn you ahead of time, this might not be much of a rant, but it is something that I just need to do to feel better. Downvote me if you have to.

I used to be an extremely cheerful person who always looked at the bright side of things. It was extremely easy for me to turn any situation around. I was confident and bright. That's why people liked to talk to me whenever they had problems. It was great, being able to be there for those closest to me. However, things aren't the same anymore.

About five years ago, a series of events occurred in my life that changed it drastically. Or rather, I should say, it changed me. Now, I admit that some of these events were my fault while some of the others were not.

Without giving myself time to pick myself up and build myself back up, I moved. I moved to a place that I wasn't quite fond of (at least back then). The reason for my move is a whole different topic, and if chance permits, perhaps one day I may say something about it.

I struggled a lot in the beginning. In fact, I wrote a diary regularly. All of my pain and struggles went into that thing. My hopes, dreams, regrets... my whole life. I had no one I could really talk to except for myself. So, that's how I did it.

I used to urge myself to grow stronger. I tried so hard to become better and better everyday. I needed to do it, but there's one thing I never managed to do. The effects of the events that happened five years ago still haven't worn off. Even today. I managed to improve in certain ways, but I've gotten worse in other things. I'm not the same bright and happy person. I'm not that friend that you would turn to for inspiration.

So, I'm still here. Trying to get stronger, trying to clean myself up, trying to get things together, and trying to be that same person I used to be five years ago and more. Trying to be that person I know I can be.

I'm trying and failing, but I know that I shouldn't stop. I'll keep trying to do all I can for myself and for everyone around me. No matter how hard it will be for me to overcome my past, the baggage I carry on my shoulders, and the new flaws I seem to have accumulated.

No matter what. I'll get there.

Sorry, RantFoo, if this wasn't a rant. I needed to write this for myself. For those who are reading this sentence, thanks for taking the time to read through my "rant" despite my warning. I guess I'll get going now. I've got a world to conquer tomorrow.

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anonymous ranted 8 years ago.
Rant viewed 123 times.

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Calai commented on this rant 8 years ago.

The very fact that you are persevering through what happened years ago is in itself inspirational. many people would throw in the towel when the going gets tough, but people like you are the type others can learn from.

Dont be discouraged by the things you have gotten worse at. If anything, you are human and you are allowed to slip and fall :) the important thing is that you have managed to continue to get back up and keep going, so dont stop. You have made it this far; Im sure you can get through this. :)

And Im glad you are able to get this out of your chestand let it out. :)

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Jasper commented on this rant 8 years ago.

Congratulations you've reached true adulthood and maturity, which isn't as cracked up as it tends to be. Seriously though, good job; most people get broken down by something and give up, never wanting to step back into the game of life. I applaud you for your determination.

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anonymous commented on this rant 8 years ago.

It breaks my heart reading your post. Can you seek professional counseling?

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Jasper commented on this rant 8 years ago.

I'd say from reading his post he doesn't need counseling; he's doing fine on his own.