Sometimes I feel so alone I think i might explode. I am 28, and have struggled hard for the last 10 years trying to maintain my own life, and independence. I seem to f*** up, with jobs and men, and end up moving back with my parents. Both of whome are getting older. I have recently turned a small corner in my life style choices as I am no longer drinking too much on a weekend or getting high or having casual sex, as I don't feel like I enjoy those things anymore. This is literally the only thing I can feel proud of at the moment. I hate my job and spend all day getting oggled at by pathetic small minded small dicked old men who expect me to reach out and comfort them on their pathetic life styles. I am sick of it. I am getting to a point where I am wanting a partner. A home, somewhere I can feel safe. But i find usually when I have these things I feel sufforcated and unhappy. I know the right man must be out there somewhere, but I just can't find him. All the good guys have horrible girlfriends who dont deserve them. I also can't stand dating. I've tried dating guys ive met through friends, or in pubs, or online, everyone just cheats and goes behind eachothers backs or randomly stops speaking one day. I'm sick of being let down and disapointed. I feel like my experiences (read, bullied at school, domestic violence, general abuse) has hardened me and I have come to place more value on having 'nice things' for myself, than stuff that actually should matter because the stuff that should matter just doesn't do it for me. I am becoming a robot and I am not sure if i mind it.