i can't do this anymore

I hate school. its hell. I'm not really a bad student and I don't complain very often about how terrible school is because there is just no point. all my other classmates complain about things to do with the school but they're mostly just trivial things like how many broken and missing pencils we have and saying that they don't really learn things. there is also constant fighting and angry shouting matches between them and the teachers.
it makes me really stressed and by the time I get home I just can't do homework because I need to de-stress.

So when the next school week comes round I'm constantly told that I need to do my homework over and over again like some kind of record. "do your homework", they say "do your homework". I just end up leaving it mostly unfinished, sometimes its not even been done. And it causes me to get really worried, and I lose sleep because I'm staying late up at night thinking about it.

my confidence and self esteem also take a hit because even if I told them about it (which I have many times)
they would just not seem to care, and that really makes me angry. I also happen to have a condition called cerebral palsy which somehow seems to make people think i am naturally stupid. which I don't really understand because cerebral palsy is a physical condition, not mental.

I also have a tiredness problem known as chronic fatigue syndrome and I also have epilepsy. so yeah, my life sucks and as a result of my problems I've had to get an extra year at hell.

Recent events such as my sister finally leaving her school and going to be starting college soon, and also tomorrow happens to be the start of the exams for me so my stress levels are going to be extremely high. so I've been thinking about my life and how useless I feel.
I just can't do this anymore, you know? I can't walk every day into hell and listen to students talking about how s*** the school is and fight and swear and just be plain stupid.

what they don't realise is that they make the school "s***" by swearing and fighting and being horrible to the teachers and if they don't get off their asses and start doing things life is going to be really hard for them.
I would know. my life has been hard from day one and I've lived with it. Being sent to hospital for various things and having to do physiotherapy every other weekend is a part of my life.

I also am really jealous of my classmates because they can go out with friends, have parties and slack off as often as they like. whereas I don't really have many friends and can't go anywhere on my own because of my disability.

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anonymous ranted 3 years, 9 months ago.
Rant viewed 25 times.


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