Go to high school next year, or run away into the wilderness and wait for mother nature to finish me off?
That is the question. I honestly do not believe that school can teach me anything that I actually want to know, and that it is a complete waste of my time. When it comes to the stuff that I'm into, numbers and science are useless. I do not believe that I have learned anything of value at school except for the fact that humans are evil, especially children. You heterosexuals need to f***ing use a condom because children are f***ing ruining my life. I can't stand them. If I do decide that I'll go to high school, if someone pisses me off-I WILL SEND THEM STRAIGHT TO HELL. Its not that hard people. I am so happy that I'm not straight because if I ever helped bring a human child into this world you don't know how pissed off I would be. Also, in the wilderness, I don't have to deal with humans. I hate humans. You people should burn in hell. I'm f***ing serious. I am SO tired of everyone's s***. I hate my parents who think own me, the school administrators who think they can figure out my life for me, and the children who torment me. I actually do have a little group of friends, but out of those few children I really only trust one or two. If I do leave, I might actually feel sorry for them because they actually liked me, and I liked them, but if these humans get on my nerves-I'm not gonna turn into the next Osama bin Ladden, I'm just gonna leave. You don't want me here, fine. I have got A LOT of stuff to do. And summer readings are not in my plans. These f***ing idiots can't pick out a goof book. Even when they do, its not like I actually want to read it. I want to read about stuff that I care about, not the stuff that they care about-Who do these people think I am? Do they think I'm their slave? Because that's how I'm feeling right now. I actually do enjoy study and research, BUT ONLY IF ITS ON SOMETHING INTERESTING AND I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY EXPECTING STUFF FROM ME. I may be researching X subject that interests me, but I'm not giving you an essay about it!!!! You want to learn this stuff-go find the information on your own. Handing out information is not my job. That's another thing, a job? Please. I do not really want a job. I am tired of being society's slave. If I do finish high school, I'm probably just gonna run away then instead. I am not wasting four more years of my life in college. That isn't going to happen. I KNOW that there is more to life than wasting your childhood at school and then becoming a slave as an adult. I used to want love, but I am wiser than that. That emotion leads to nothing but heartache, of which I have had enough. Too many things have happened to me for me to just go along with all of this s***! Honestly, the only things keeping my ass in this house are the fact that my friends actually want me to go to high school with them, my parents have been abandoned too many times already and if I left they would just die, and the fact that I'm basically addicted to Final Fantasy XI. I like that game. I also draw too. I'm also kind of smart. And also wise. I'm wise enough to see that society will one day collapse on itself, and I don't want to be around when that happens. I will HOPEFULLY be dead by then, or in some woods reading one of my books on a subject that I like. I also REALLY hate the idea of religion. Its too blinding for my taste. Too many problems have been caused by it. Manifest Destiny, in which the Americans completely took the western lands from the Native Americans was the belief that it was the American's GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO SPREAD DEMOCRACY. Is there no end to the arrogance of humans? To come up with such an idea...Oh please, SHOOT ME. I can't believe these people. I don't really consider myself to be much better than them though. I have done things that I am not proud off, which I will most likely post here later. Anyway, I'm just mad at the humans because of, well, EVERYTHING. If I had the choice of saving the life of a human or animal's, I would save the animal. I don't believe that the humans deserve my anything anymore. I would sooner trust a wild lion than a human. At least there not as f***ed up as humans are. I'm so tired of this s***.
Anyway, here are the two main things that will influence my decision:
1.) My mother's getting a surgery that has a chance of killing her and if she goes, I go to. I hate the rest of my family, except for the dog.
2.) My friends. I have SOME trust in them. They did make my life somewhat better, but I am not sure of it would be OK for me to leave them, or to stay and ATTEMPT to keep them happy.
I am very unsure right now. All I know is that I don't have many reasons to stay in this place where I do not feel good. The reflection that I see in the mirror sometimes is not even me, it is what society is FORCING upon me. Should I be their slave for just a little longer, or should I disappear as soon as I can. That is the question. Thank you for reading this.