Adult sibling rivalry. I know ... Oxymoronically in theory, and yet HARDLY provident in existence!
I have a brother who is 2yrs. older than myself, and a sister who is 6yrs. younger. My sister and I have always been extremely close. My brother ... Well, that's a different story entirely. I don't get it!
My sister has accomplished so many things, things I couldn't imagine being capable of accomplishing myself. I admire her as a result. I'm proud! And I don't use that word loosely. I have no problem with bragging about how gifted she is in regards to her intelligence and her self-disciplinary, self-motivated traits. I encourage her, as she does me.
With my brother, on the other hand, I feel entirely different. I used to use this approach with him as well. However, I no longer have any desire in complementory words or acts in favor of him. He does a fabulous job in complementing himself, primarily by belittling others and pointing out fault or flaws for self-gratification- mainly to boost himself up. We all see how insecure he is and how miserable his life can be at times but regardless, it baffles me that rather than accepting help or simply acknowleging his family's support, he has chosen to isolate himself by taking his frustrations out on everybody around him, rather than taking that energy and using it to better himself and his situation. Everybody around him has grown extremely tired of his belittling comments.
Here's where I play a role. For me, it has gotten to the point where, in rejection of his "high & mighty" attitude and his belittling ways of getting his point across, I oftentimes find myself disputing whatever he says. I will argue against anything, regardless of whether or not I agree with any BS that may be coming out of my mouth. It has become a battle with the intention of deflating that arrogent and self-rightous head of his.
Although, this has undenialbly made for interesting family get-togethers (as there is never a dull moment) I'm certainly aware of how old and tired this is becoming. These incidents always end in my feeling awful and feeling as though NOTHING had been ultimately accomplished- as nothing ever is. Yet, as much as I try to contain myself, my tolerence for his behavior has worn down to nothing!
So, besides the breathing technique (which has proven failure when pertaining to this issue) does anybody have any suggestions in handling a situation such as this?