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A Rant on the Bi Rave

Just a Rant on the current Bi Rave ...

I was at an upscale L.A. Lesbian Club over the weekend, and as I was dancing with my friends, a straight couple approached me and asked if I was a lesbian. I rolled my eyes (as I knew what was to follow) and answered, "yes." And just as I had predicted, they immediately made it known that their plans for the evening included taking me home and "the girlfriend" having her first girl-on-girl experience. Imagine if gay person approached a straight person at a straight club with this same proposition.

It never ceases to amaze me how straight girls assume that if you happen to be gay, this automatically gives them a chance with you. So I'd like to take this opportunity to clarify something here:

This may come as a shock, but I actually do have standards. And if I workout hard to be able to wear a tight mini-skirt and expose my abs, and if I pay out thousands of $$$ to enhance these tits, why would you think that I would even be remotely interested in a fat-ass Oompa-Loompa, such as yourself?! Furthermore, why would you feel the need to inform me that your boyfriend finds me attractive-as if having him involved would somehow make the proposition more enticing. What part of "Lesbian," are you finding it so difficult to comprehend? This usually involves a dislike for penis! Well, on a man at least!

I'm gonna let you in on a little Lezbo secret: If your man suddenly begins to act as if you have just suddenly fallen off the face of the earth, and you notice him drooling all over me, chances are that I'm way out of your league and I'll have to send your ass back to the Minor's! Moreover, what your "man" is really thinking is that I just happen to be "uncharted territory," and that I just simply haven't found the right penis yet. He's also thinking that HIS just may be the RIGHT ONE and capable in turning me straight. And as soon as he proves this to me with his super-penis, he plans on leaving your ass for me. Do you ladies not get this?!!

So for those of you who, "Sometimes you feel like a nut-sometimes you don't," -- on those days where you don't, instead of scoping out the nearest Lipstick Lezbo, try sticking with someone such as yourself... Bi-Curious, Bi-Sexual, Bi-Whatever you happen to be. And let us have ONE evening without having to deal with this s***! I'm sure homo's don't roam around STRAIGHT clubs hitting on unsuspecting straights! What makes you think it's okay to do that at a Gay club?!

I'm not interested in your STD, HIV, AIDS, Hepititis, or whatever other parting gifts you might have to offer. These are all almost nearly non-existent in the Lesbian Community, and we'd kinda like to keep it that way.

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DV8-DX-pected ranted 7 years ago.
Rant viewed 364 times.

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anonymous commented on this rant 3 years, 2 months ago.

I agree with pretty much most of the post. I'm not sure if you don't like bisexuals though, I mean, I hope you're not stereotyping or generalizing bisexuals by saying this. Peace and love, a bisexual

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OneLonelyPickle commented on this rant 6 years, 4 months ago.

Point of this rant: Bisexuals are as shallow and conceited as normal, a****** straights.

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anonymous commented on this rant 7 years ago.

It's a good compliment at least....I think they knew it was a long shot but since you're so attractive, they just decided to go for it. No need to take offense.

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anonymous commented on this rant 7 years ago.

I love Club DV8! Went there with a fake ID in high school. =D

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elle commented on this rant 7 years ago.

Hilarious read, LOL!