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"The nice guy" - "Friend Zone"

Those are two 'expressions' that I've been finding a lot lately: Nice guy and Friend zone.

The view I've always had of men is pretty general. At first, I defended them 100%. "Women are so complicated and bitchy" ... "They're too difficult to understand" .. "They need to lighten up" because my mother and my sister would be real asses to their husbands over really idiotic things. In fact, jokes that made me burst out laughing would usually end up in them rolling their eyes.

Maybe it was all the negative (and constant) opinions I heard about men or how things turned out to be for my sister and mother when their husbands rebelled against them and they both ended up divorced, but at some point along the way I lose my faith in them. I began seeing those friendly and admirable people, that I actually WANTED to be like, as some disgusting and idiotic creatures. Inferior to me.

At some point, I realized I was part of the stupid stereotype of "women fall for bad boys" .. Every nice and hyper guy from shows, animes, anything.. They'd annoy the hell out of me. But the bad guys? Ah, they were an inspiration. Whether it was me being attracted to them as a woman or wanting to be like them. (Yeah, long story.)

I can't not analyze things and it annoys me to not understand or not be sure about certain subjects. Like men. It became such an 'obsession' that whenever I watched a romance movie or anything to do with love, I'd wonder if it was even possible that they could be as heartless and shallow as they all SEEM to be.

But, it's impossible. They're humans, aren't they? They also have feelings, they just can't be the way movies and even THEY say they are, the way they portray themselves as.

Instead of being completely hypnotized by the men in movies and the romances, how 'magical' and all that.. I kept trying to picture a guy being like them. Sweet,caring, HUMAN.

Now, some time ago, I saw a guy was ranting about how he had been after this girl since they were in high school and she was a total idiot and ignored him, how they always put the nice and sweet guys in the friend zone. It makes us women sound so stupid and blind-- And you know, perhaps we are. But I agree with the ones that had commented, it's not good enough JUST being nice. You have to have qualities that the girl is looking for.. We all have our 'tastes'.

But, no, that's not what I wanted to talk about. I'm not even sure what "THAT" was.. I just know that it feels as if I just suddenly entered a whole new 'phase' where these two words are going to be relevant at some point.. Nice guy and Friend zone.

It's confusing. I don't think men understand that they're not the only ones puzzled by us women.. In fact, the entire battle of the sexes is plainly annoying and bothersome. Why can't we go a single day without pointing fingers and highlighting how "complicated" and "dramatic" women are.. Just like how "perverted" and "shallow" some men are.

It'd be nice to, for once, have equality-- COMPLETE equality. No damn stereotypes that make everything so difficult... As if no one had gender and you had to actually get to know the person to see if you like him or her.

But, I guess I'm just another one of the thousands of people out there saying this, for the who-knows-what time ... And it's not ever going to change, is it?

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Nyx ranted 6 years ago.
Rant viewed 771 times.

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+1
Kigo Rants commented on this rant 5 years, 6 months ago.

so true so true...

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LILME87 commented on this rant 5 years, 7 months ago.

Hi there, I would say rather than concentrating on the 'nice guy.' 'bad boy' agenda, just try and be a good person yourself. I think 'good' is different from nice. Nice conjures up an image of someone who never stands up for themselevs, and nobody wants to be with someone like that. 'nice people' can be crowd pleasers, that in itself is a turn off for me personally, however being a good person is something much different. A good person is defined by their VALUES, the respect they have for themselevs and other people. When I get in a fight with my partner, I remind myself - I am a good person, its what draws people to me, its what i use to look after myself too. So yeah thats my 2 pence.

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kaisugar commented on this rant 6 years ago.

You're completely right. Unfortunately I can't see a change being made for a very long time.

Regarding the "nice guy" thing. I was dating one of those "nice guys" after my string of chasing bad boys. Truthfully, he was a very nice guy. And when I say very, I mean "walk to your house at 2 am with tea because you're sick even though it'll take him 45 minutes at least" nice. And I admit, he was cute as well. But just being a nice guy...doesn't mean you're dating material. This boy was obsessively clingy, to the point I was getting frightened and avoiding him.

I also met a very cocky guy who claimed he was one of the "nice guys" but was sick of being f***ed over and deserved someone rather then the idiot she was with. What kind of attitude is that?

Sure, nice guys are good. But just like bad boys, they also have their downsides.

On that subject, us women also have downsides. In the end, none of us are perfect. We just complicate each-other. Sexuality and gender make the world so complicated. I hope one day we can overcome this, just as you do.

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Nyx commented on this rant 6 years ago.

You're right, it's not enough to be a nice guy. I also had a boyfriend though I was 12/13, he was 16. Sweet but extremely needy of attention, too clingy.. Drove me insane. I guess too much of anything can make us sick, right? .. Though a clingy girl with sweet gestures like that is probably more --- *has been trying to remember the word for a long time now* .. Oh, God. I haven't slept, I'm exhausted. But, it's .. More .. easy-to-handle on a girl.

Sad thing about us humans, we get screwed over by someone and swear revenge on the entire 'species' .. And, yes, we'll never find someone perfect. Be it bad boy or prince charming.. Hence why relationships aren't all that easy to succeed in.

But that's what makes them worth it, right?

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kaisugar commented on this rant 6 years ago.

You're exactly right, my friend. But one day...I believe both you and I will find that someone who is good for us. ^^