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Coincidences

Coincidence.. You know, I noticed something today. (I really wish I had written this when I was in my 'thinking' mood instead of wasting my time in other things, rawr.)

One of the funny (yet pretty much useless) coincidences began some months ago. I was role playing with my girlfriend and I needed a good song to keep me alert and creative.. So I began looking for random songs on youtube which led me to this specific one:

It was a great remix, I loved it. But the song reminded me of something. Have you ever had that feeling? When you realize that something's really familiar yet you don't even know from where?.. I ended up listening to the actual song of Lilium and realized it was from this anime called Elfen Lied. All my friends from some years back had watched it, in fact, they wouldn't shut up about how gory it was.

I ended up watching the anime. See, but it's a funny yet useless coincidence.. Unless somehow an anime is going to make some huge change in my life later on. But, no. I doubt it.

Anyway, here comes the OTHER coincidence, which I have a feeling is actually going to bring something along with it.

I've been playing L4D on my laptop, so I was in a really L4D-ish mood but I couldn't play because my brother has been busy with this other game that I don't like and well, playing alone isn't all that great. I don't even remember why, but I began searching for random Hunter pictures on DeviantArt... And one thing led to the other and somehow, I ended up reading a fanfic.

I used to be a yaoi fan, a HUGE yaoi fan.. I even wrote stories and I got actually really good feedback. But, since none of the people I role played with liked yaoi, I eventually got over it. So much that I began to dislike it yet again.. Now, this fanfic for some reason really got my attention. It was f***ing amazing, I just really loved the way it was written and the characters in it. (I would share the link but I'm paranoid perhaps the artist will some day read this, haha.)

Anyhow, I read all of the 'chapters' she had written (I just realized I'm not even 100% it's a girl. But I'm pretty, PRETTY sure.. Yet another reason to not give the link) and 'subscribed' to her. Now, while I was looking for more of her SmokerxHunter fanfics, I saw a picture of Gamzee and found it extremely funny (and irritating) how famous Homestuck seemed to be getting lately.

You see, that friend I ranted about a long time ago, she is into Homestuck and ended up getting me half ass into it. The only reason I never actually really read the comic, is because I f***ing hate how little I can actually understand when the author starts talking with those weird terms. But as soon as I saw Gamzee, I got into a Homestuck-ish mood.

I have this friend that role plays with me, I usually don't give her much time because I'm not really used to her kind of role play. Actually, I feel pretty much uncomfortable and unimpressed when role playing with anyone other than my girlfriend. Though, in my opinion, it's completely understandable. I've known her for nearly 4 years and most of them we've spent them role playing.. So she knows what I like, how I like it and I don't have to explain myself for her. We basically 'created' each other's style of rp.

But my girlfriend and I have been role playing the SAME one almost all these years and I really wanted to try Homestuck, which if I attempted with her, it would be as awkward as if I role played with anyone else but what I'm used to-- THE BOTTOM LINE IS, I hate having to explain myself and how I role play, etc, to other people. Not to mention all the hours you waste on the role play just to realize the person isn't even that into it.

Anyhow.... I asked this friend of mine (in a really sneaky way, of course. Without me having to actually 'ask') if she wanted to role play, and so we did. This was a great practice because I haven' role played sticking to an actual character in a long, long time. The last time I did, I was either Kakuzu or Hidan.. Or Deidara.

So, I began to do 'research' while attempting to role play as her. I read a couple of comics and stories about Karkat to see how he spoke and the way he was.. And so, I managed to try and be him. According to her, I did a really great job-- But, yeah, I'm not so sure unless I hear it from someone that I can actually trust on giving me tips.

After a while of role playing and me being actually really excited about being Karkat, I went to DeviantArt to check my messages. Why? Well, it's a habit of mine, I guess.

Now, this is when the whole coincidence thing kicks in.

This girl I'm now 'stalking' asked in a journal if anyone was interested in role playing Homestuck because she wanted to, but she has the same exact problem as I do.. I do not know much about the actual story. So, if I was to successfully role play it, it would have to be something involving the characters but not the whole game and dream thing they got going on.

Now, why is this a coincidence? Simple. It makes no sense why in the world I would randomly look for fanfics of a ZOMBIE GAME.. End up reading an AMAZING yaoi fanfic that sucked me into the whole yaoi thing AGAIN, having everything I actually look forward in fanfics AND then when I start to actually 'follow' the person on dA she mentions she's interested in RP.

Did I mention how much of an addict to role play I am?.. It's the closest thing I get to being a writer while getting feedback but not having to worry about the plot nor the ending because half my job is being done by another person. f***, that's like writer paradise.

This little coincidence can go three ways. Really f***ing well, terribly wrong or I just over-thought it too much and in some months I'll realize nothing actually happened.. (Which is usually what happens when I try to 'predict' life)

It could go really well because she's a writer (sorta) and I could learn from her plus gain a new role play buddy which I wouldn't mind having. It could go really wrong because she sounds a LOT like that friend I bitched about in my other rants AND she likes Homestuck. I'm not trying to stereotype here, but they can be pretty harsh people half the time.

OR..

It could go really 'nothing' and just end up in us never role playing because I will not be the first one to ask and she might just 'move on' and find some other rp buddy.. Or we role play for some time and I realize I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. (<- Happens a lot)

I'm pretty sure I'll end up not talking to her.. Ah, God. Why do I always find people that seem to be intimidating and touchy like Krys. It's like I'm condemned to put up with those that others are too .. Well, I mean, would -- GAH. They're just too straight forward and .. Harsh. AND REGARDLESS of how HARD I try, I always end up being the submissive IDIOT. Rawr.

.. So, yeah. Jesus, I missed analyzing s*** like this.. Though I doubt anyone will ever read this, but I don't even care- I needed to write down my thoughts somewhere. It's funny, I bet 95% (if not more) of the people that read this will immediately think that it's how every girl things, analyzing and over thinking everything.

But, not really. I just don't really have anything else to do at this time.

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Nyx ranted 6 years, 2 months ago.
Rant viewed 58 times.

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