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+18

What is wrong with me!?!?

There is a girl that I've liked since my freshman year at college. At first, we were introduced by a mutual friend and we all did hw together. A few years past where we didnt see each other but I still thought of her everyday and wondered how she was doing. In our senior year at college, we saw each other again and would talk once in awhile. I still liked her but I knew she just wanted to be friends. I would talk to her and it seemed we were becoming closer as friends. But the whole time, I always longed for something more.

Now here's the part which I don't understand and can't seem to control. Lately, whenever I see her, I act like a complete idiot. I say stuff I don't mean and just completely act mean to her. Afterwards, I always regret it but I can't seem to stop. I feel like I'm in elementary school again, where the little boy pesters the little girl cause he likes her. Around everyone else, I act normal and sane but when she enters the room, my maturity shuts off and I feel like a kid again. I'm so close to pulling her hair soon and giving her the cooties.

I wonder if it's because I still like her, even after 5 years of knowing her or if deep down, I'm mad because I know she will never like me in return. I've dropped several hints that I liked her but every time, she ignores them. I feel like ripping out my heart and serving it on a plate for her. I am so frustrated with myself that I vowed to never see her again because I hate the way I act around her. No one else knows how I feel right now, but I feel as though I need to get this off my chest. Thanks RantFoo!

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anonymous ranted 7 years, 4 months ago.
Rant viewed 3318 times.

16

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+1
Rantqueen5 commented on this rant 4 years, 7 months ago.

Ok, dude. I gotta be honest. You want her? Tell her, but first tell her how you cant control yourself around her, and how much she means to you. If you get rejected, leave it. You guys could still be friends if you wanted to, or you could totally ignore her. Don't make this hard for yourself. Just suck it up, and start talking.

0
middle commented on this rant 5 years, 10 months ago.

Have you confessed to her? You know, like not just hints, i think you should tell her, I think that will really get everything off your chest.
If she doesn't like you back, well time has a way of healing. or so they say.

+2
JioVega commented on this rant 6 years, 5 months ago.

Are you nervous? The mind does weird things under pressure.
Next time you're with her, just relax, take a deep breath, and have a serious conversation with her. Maybe if you let her know how you feel, she'll even come around.
Rooting for you :)

+1
anonymous commented on this rant 6 years, 6 months ago.

just talk to her... tell her how you feel, so what if she dose not like you... at least you had the guts

+1
ijustwanttorant commented on this rant 6 years, 6 months ago.

just tell her what you feel. go! do what you gotta do before its too late so you wont have any regrets or what ifs later.

+3
mickturate commented on this rant 7 years, 3 months ago.

grow a pair? is this any use as advice?
call her up, arrange to meet and tell it like it is, write it down & if all else fails give that to her. if she says no, its a win, if she says yes, its a big win...win either way because you have more informtion & get to move on rather than mooning like a 12 yr. old, wait, what, you are 12?
oh, ok, then, grow a pair.

+1
elle commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

It's a childish response but also expected when the realization sets in that she doesn't feel the same way. Move on, avoid her would be my reaction.

Maintaining a friendship that only fuels your desire to be with her is not in your best interest; afterall, I'm convinced she knows you want more than 'just friends.' Yet she continues to keep the friendship door open and she herself, seemingly to stroke her own ego with it. She's just stringing you along if anything. Just avoid her.

+2
frnnkdlxx commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

Wow. I know the feeling. The pain WOMEN! put us through! lol. Yeah, i've gone through that routine, realizing that the person I had developed an unhealthy love for just didn't like me "that way". Which is so much more painful than not liking you at all. No, she just doesn't like you "That way"!!! Oh the paain! And we're flawed because we want to corner them and demand that they tell us what they think of our proposal. Do you like me or not, would you even consider dating me? Just tell me no! But we know that would hurt just as bad because we've created a monster in our minds. A whole scenario and future for that person.

Unless you have particularly good "game" with women and are willing to play that game of pursuit to attain a woman who clearly doesn't like you, which romantic types like us NEVER do, then your best bet is to do just that. Ignore her, avoid her, find something else. Recognize that you're a coward, like I had to(I know, harsh word, but lets face facts, dude) and move on.

If you're not going to go all out to pursue her and demand she make an ultimatum, then you have to realize that either you don't like her that much, or you're a coward and aren't going to go for it.
Go to the website meetup.com and find some people to hang out with and do activities with and maybe you'll find someone new

+5
DV8-DX-pected commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

The reason that you act so mean towards her is because of that ego, which we all react to impulsively and defensively when we feel it's taking a blow.
What you need to remember is that what you're feeling is infatuation, not love- or at least the kind of love two people feel during intimate (not friendly) relationships. If you've never had an intimate relationship with her, there's no way you could possibly know that you love that aspect of her. Everybody shows a different side of themselves to their intimate partners (bad as well as good).

You said you've thrown out hints. Trust me, she gets it. If she has been ignoring them, she's probably not interested in taking it to that level. She may value your friendship and might not want to tarnish it with an attempted relationship that could fail and destroy the friendship that you two share.

You may have to evaluate what is more important, or what you're capable of offering her at this time. If it's simply too difficult to be around her, then maybe it's not such a good idea to continue putting yourself through that. In the long run, THAT alone may be enough to destroy your friendship. And who knows, that may have been one of the closest friendships you might have ever had, but you're not giving it the chance to grow because you're too preoccupied with taking it further.

You didn't mention whether or not she's in a relationship, but if not- how are you going to react/feel when you're placed in that position of having to hang out with her & her significant other? My guess is that when you find that person whom you truly love, you won't have any desires towards your friend on that level. When that times comes, you'll be completely comfortable with sharing a strictly platonic and genuine friendship with her. The ONLY problem THEN will be whether or not your girlfriend will ALLOW you two to remain friends! LOL!

Seriously though, when you do fall in love with another girl, you'll love having a close female friend who you can confide in and get a "female perspectives" on issues that might pertain to your relationships. That being said, it may benefit you to keep her friendship and simply accept it for what it is.

Hope that helped :-)

+2
anonymous commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

Love can be very complicated. To make it simple, simply ask the girl how she feels about you. Don't drag on with the whole trying to be friends first then hope that she'll fall for you. It's up to you if you wanna make it simple by making everything clear with the girl or you can forever stay silent and miserable(for both sides if you both like each other)! Don't assume anything.

+2
dolores1988 commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

Just tell her that you like her a bit too much. It's only a big thing to do for you. If she doesn't feel anything for you, she'll forget about your confession in about a week and a half.
It's really not a big thing to say that you like someone so much that it makes you act like a douchebag.
I am a girl and I never understood any hints at all, even when I was getting plenty of hints.
Grab your chance before you see her walking around with some a****** boyfriend.
That's going to hurt much more than your ego.

If you can't do any of the above, just avoid her and move to another town.

+1
anonymous commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

Well, in my opinion maybe you should drop the hints and let her know how you really feel, because maybe she is waiting for you to be a little more grown up about it, I believe that this is an issue where you need to nip it in the bud! Just tell her and if she is not interested than get on with your life this sounds like unresolved issue syndrome and a little bit of growing up issue. If she says she is not interested remember there more fish in the sea. GBU, a friend

+2
SLOMO commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

your heart feels what it feels so its easier said than done when you say "just move on"

+1
anonymous commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

There's nothing wrong with you! =) Some people are better than others at dealing with social situations....I'm pretty bad at it myself so you're definitely not alone. We just need practice.

+1
gsreject commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

i've been the same way as you, just move on. it nevers goes to love just pain. move on, be nice move on.

+1
anonymous commented on this rant 7 years, 4 months ago.

You should sh*t or get off the pot. If you like her that much, and you know she doesn't like you that much, you're torturing yourself. Tell her how you feel, and when she rejects you (she will!), you can at least move on. Get her out of your system and find someone else. Unrequited love sucks *ss! I know all about it.