Y'know what really p*sses me off?

God, where to start? Okay. It's 2:10 AM and I woke up out of the blue, stressed out b/c I have no job, no money, and no likelihood of being employed tomorrow.
I've been there before. The last few years have been like that. I'll eventually find something and get caught up. It's a cycle: Get a job, lose the job or quit the job, rinse, repeat.
I used to be somebody. Nobody important, of course, but somebody. Had a house, two cars, a motorcycle, and a lawnmower. I even had a cat and a girlfriend.
I remember some good times then. I could go on about all the great sex we had, but the nicest memory was just the two of us, slow dancing late one night. A song on the radio, and I just grabbed her and we circled around real slow, and I sang to her. I'll never forget how much she loved being the focus of my attention. We were, for a few minutes, really content to just BE.
This was all made possible because the bills were paid.

You see, back then (20 years ago,) a hard-working guy had a reasonable chance of finding a decent-paying job and keeping it. I had medical, a 401K, and all that. It was hard and thankless work, but I didn't complain. It was enough to have something to do and a decent place to live. Not glamorous at all, but it was OK. There was a measure of security to it, and it was pretty sweet, all things considered.

What happened? Well, we broke up, I got a new degree and entered a new field.

My next years were some of the best. I was confident, enthusiastic, well-paid. I remember hosting a party on the roof of my charming apt. bldg. and looking out at the skyline of Chicago, thinking that I was indeed the King of Wicker Park. Times were good, and there were lots of fine women and good times.

So why did I move again? Oh, yeah. The band. They wanted to get back together in Denver, of all places, and I was restless enough to listen to them. Those were the 2 most miserable years of my life. Imagine working a responsible, professional job while living around a bunch of crackheads in a ghetto. The band fell apart, as I should have known it would, and I had no reason to be there. Back to Chicago.

Moving is expensive and stressful. In the meantime, the economy continued to contract, and competition in almost all fields was fierce. Jobs I could get with ease were now harder to find, let alone get. Things got tighter, and my spotty record of moving around a lot didn't help. HR people asked what I was running from. I thought of it as running TO something, but looking at it, I don't know what it was I wanted. A life of making music, I guess, but it's harder than it looks. I at least broke even before, in cost vs. income. Denver was a total loss. It's a sh*thole of a town, too. Downtown was a ghetto, and the 'burbs were full of backward-baseball-hat-wearing idiots. I'm sure there are some great people in Denver. I just never met them.

Then followed years of unusual jobs. I worked as a substitute teacher, climbed 500-ft. radio towers (scary!), and even had a job as a radio DJ, increasing listenership and advertising for my slot by 1/3 in 6 months. I was good. I worked at it. Do you think I got a raise?

Fast-forward to now. I'm in Long Beach, and after many years and many jobs full of meaningless drudgery and countless hours sweating for the man when all I really wanted was to take a nice walk somewhere with someone pleasant to talk to, I'm right back where I was. Unemployed. Broke. Not even a man.

It's strange how we define ourselves (and others) by our jobs. We're so much more than that. At least, I'd like to think so. You can blame the economy on Reagan, Bush, Clinton, the other Bush, or Obama. That's nonsense. Presidents don't really affect as much as we might think they do. That's probably a good thing.

Will Rogers, I think it was, said that the one constant is that "the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer."

OK, I looked it up on Wiki. Maybe I'm FOS:

to exasperate at once the extremes of luxury and want. They have exemplified the saying, “To him that hath, more shall be given; and from him that hath not, the little that he hath shall be taken away.” The rich have become richer, and the poor have become poorer; and the vessel of the State is driven between the Scylla and Charybdis of anarchy and despotism. Such are the effects which must ever flow from an unmitigated exercise of the calculating faculty.

-Percy Bysshe Shelley; A Defence of Poetry

I dunno. Seems like Will Rogers said it, too. A pretty common phrase these days, anyhoo. That IS what's happening. Assign any cause to it, and you're at least partially right. You gotta love any references to Scylla and Charybdis, at any rate.

And that's what really p*sses me off.

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bongodave ranted 8 years, 10 months ago.
Rant viewed 252 times.


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ijustwanttorant commented on this rant 7 years, 11 months ago.

move forward. you sound like a person who regrets about your past decisions. life not fair at all we all know that. just stand up find a job and dont ever give up!

Wolfsinger commented on this rant 8 years, 10 months ago.

You're taking the long view, my man, and good kudos to you for doing it. Life just doesn't play anything like fair, does it? And now yo're looking beyond your own life and seeing parallels outside of it. It's wierd, sometimes the thousand yard stare makes you aware of the bigger picture of life, puts things into perspective.
Good luck in your future - I hope you find your good balance point again.

DV8-DX-pected commented on this rant 8 years, 10 months ago.

First of all, you portray yourself as a loser. If you substitue, then you must have -not only obtained a college degree- but all the schooling and education that follows throughout the process in obtaining your teaching credentials. My sister is a teacher, and I never knew how many years of schooling and the numerous tests involved to obtain this goal! I suppose I held the common misconceptioon that once you receive a Bachelor's, you're good to go. Well, knowing what I know now, that couldn't be further from the truth! She currently substitutes because teaching jobs are extremely difficult (non-existent, more accurately put) to obtain after the ridiculous budget cuts and layoffs within each school district.

My point is, that in order for you to have accomplished all of this, you had to have been self-disciplined, focused and determined. Simultaneously, you had to have ultimately reach that level of knowledge and intelligence to make you capable of such a job.

You chose to follow your dream in music. Good for you! That took guts! Success doesn't come to those who sit on their asses and wait for it to come to them. You have to chase after it! And you have to experience failure in the process. Failure makes us stronger and smarter. Those who learn from failure inevitably reach success. If your passion is music, you can't attribute what you're current status is due to pursuing that passion. Furthermore, who wants to be that 80yr. old man who constantly looks back at his past- always thinking, "If I had ONLY TRIED, maybe things might have turned out differently!"

In the meantime, while you're pursuing your dream, you have chosen to work towards a back-up plan. To me, that HARDLY sounds like a "loser!" You sound like a determined, self-sufficient, go-getter! And these are the qualities essential for success. You're simply experiencing what so many individuals are experiencing during one of the worst economic catastrophies experienced by our generation. It has effected so many on so many different levels- some more than others, but to say that this makes you less of a man, you would have to apply that same judgement to so many individuals out there, who have worked hard their entire lives, but who have lost so much as the result of this economic downfall in our Country.

It is true that the rich get richer. Many factors contribute to this. Surely, budget cuts and layoffs won't pertain to, say, the CEO of a corporation. Fair? Not really. But you can't focus on that. All we can do is acheive what we can and attempt a shot at happiness.

So many are finding themselves in the same predicament that you're in. All we can do is hope for a drastic change in our Country and scrape by in the meantime. Look at it this way, things can't get too much worse, right? So when they get better, you simply get up, dust yourself off, and continue where you left off. You have something that will give you a great head-start. You have an education. Something you cannot lose- Not even during THE WORST economic pitfall we might find ourselves in!

anonymous commented on this rant 8 years, 10 months ago.

dude you had everything the woman and a job, but some reason you thought there was something bigger and better out there so you kept running to it but in the end you have nothing, that doesn't make you less of a man just learn from your losses and pick up and move on. this time go in with your eyes wide open. good luck and i wish all the best!

bongodave commented on this rant 8 years, 10 months ago.

Well said. Be glad for what you have. Good luck to you, too!

anonymous commented on this rant 8 years, 10 months ago.

I think it's great that you got to go after the things you were passionate about. At least now you can say you've been there and have done that. It's not a sin to attempt to do something bigger and better. Majority of the people think it's just not right to take risks and get out of their comfort zone. If you were to stay in a job that you don't necessarily love, one day you're bound to look back and wonder what could have happened if you went the other direction.

It's okay to fall, as long as you're willing to dust yourself off and try again. We live to really LIVE, not be some company's loyal employee forever.... Now that you've got to see the world, it's time to start over even if it's at rock bottom. You'll climb right back up if you plan it out right, trust me....You have no idea how many opportunities are out there waiting for you to discover. Just don't go for one of those commission based jobs. Wish you the Best of luck. I know you'll do great! The most successful people are the ones who's been through adversity. Not everyone gets to experience hardship to better appreciate life and get the opportunity to make themselves stronger and better. =)